Michael Rothenberg

 

From The Last American Smile

 

                                                   XIV.

 

1

As was the first new year so begins the last
I'm not sure exactly what happened in between
I turn on the television to find out how I feel
2002, diamond noose raising the bitch goddess
Of course I'm a collector of religious experience
Red, white and blue, black and blue, green
Mom and Dad are you here? Forgive and forget
Watch the fireworks. Capital at war but the people
Party. In wool hat and bathrobe horns toot
A watch wound too tight, set ahead of its time

                                                     12:21 am

 

2

1/2/2002-Do nothing because I can
1/3/2002-Time is flexible, I hope

 

3

Someone brought me food
I put it in my room. I bought broccoli
There's a cup of coffee on the desk that wasn't there before
Buy Subway vegetarian burger
Silent walking. Sharing a pie
Go to movie theater
I said I was broke
She said you don't spend six dollars if you're broke because you're depressed
Wake up calling for my mother and dad
Look through stamp collection. In wine cellar
Complain to gods/goddesses
I don't have a goddess or know where my goddess is
They take me to show me
At the beach I meet a woman I know from high school
She asks me, "Why don't you become a nuclear physicist."
Why? I ask
"Because you have so many questions."

 

4

Freezing in Miami, I like it, planning a cruise
Cross Delaware arrive on moon
Death gives us freedom to sway among the palms
Listen to oldies on radio, top down, heater on
Everywhere waiting for me all at once
Molten silver bay gust quiver pulls me
Beyond jade bridges beyond belief
A unique opportunity of manageable isolation
Come along, you flock of aquamarine pelicans
You vultures kissed with red and sulfur seagulls
16 hours a day seated at the Big Window
8 hours dream of houses I can buy for more
Than I can afford on piney acre wake up
Forget what I have seen and dreamed because
I'm going on, moving along, tripping heavily
Old Glory waves. Don't stop to salute. Police
On street, plane, boat shoot to kill. Come on
We've got Paradise in six different colors
An acceptable Hell in linen white for summer nights
Dance limbo, eat gumbo, do mambo
Monochromatic rainbow, fish with cane pole
Compleat Angler recites Mirabai on river of grass
Deadly, lonely, only ones, joyous pilgrims
Old mill stream to Ganges through glutinous muck
Of maximal pond, minimal ocean, brass bongos, gongs
Go as a gift in a will, a bequest, inspired, expired
In and out of breath, hey, check it out, in rising dust
Of weekend dancers padding on the story path
Even beginners are professionals, giving it away
Lick the back of coral reef, that tropical condominium
Stick it on envelope slip in the pouch of an albino wallaby
Post office serenades delivered at midnight
Strawberry butter mango sage banana cologne
Tongue swollen with salt of binocular vision
Drop in on Duke Ellington Ave. for a hit of hysteria
Phantom, Come Hither on The Ninefold Path
Add cream to darkness and sugar to bleakness
I'm tired of giving direction or taking them
We can do better than that, we're better than that
Terror plays a joke on the addiction of the heart
You're never out of the woods. No, no, I'm not
There's something wrong with this whole world
And most of the other ones we can encounter
Tables and chair have arms and legs, some
Seat themselves on the spine to protest
But after a while control is no longer comforting
Take the shoelace from one shoe, tie it to the other
Now you have one shoe with two laces and the
Other shoe with no laces and that's a fact
Welcome to Pompeii. Please get on! Please get off!
Headed for Atlantis, where no one will ever find us
The ultimate getaway. Until we grow tired of the mystery

                                                          January 4, 2002

 

5

Abuse is normal for you

 

6

Blackest red sunset bloodies my eye

 

7

I have to see it again

 

8

Look at the way those lights on skyline
Long fuse burning gold, red, green, white, amber jump
Around me

Black sky pulses above sparkling spine of amber, green, white, red
Skeleton necklace flickers ensouled
My eye can't anchor
Circling around again, I am not a ship, I'm a fish

Phosphorescent neon green
Pearl white electric
Amber jelly

 

9

In formation, pelicans

Information

Mortality is Grace

 

10

Seedy men on benches
Hair turned to sawgrass

                                    January 3, 2002

 

11

You need a young man to mother
Permit him to lie down with you
Show him a spiritual path

 

12

You never gave me space to mourn
Had to get your hands into everything
Stuck in the mother mode

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