Tony Hoffman

 

Symbiotic Bayside Blues

Sibyl Liberty, obese harbor emblem,
bares flabby breasts beside tumbledown
drawbridges braced by rhomboid buttresses.
Innumerable belugas breach; disturbed by
ambient vibrations, barnacled obelisks tumble,
breaching catacombs inhabited by shibboleths.
Behemoths lumber beyond crumbled barricades,
biting sunburned beachcombers.

Debauched hoboes, entombed by debris,
brave cobblestone labyrinths braced
by crossbones; ruby beacons strobe
submerged bubble chambers. Blind amphibians
broach subterranean brooks inhabited
by amoeboid blobs.

Beneath candelabras, troubadours flambé
blowfish kabobs, imbibe rhubarb beer.
Subway bards gibber obtuse parables,
build Rube Goldberg mobiles. Scarab beetles
crabwalk between pebbled boneyards:
sabertooth jawbones, jackrabbit tibias,
wombat fibulas, basilisk vertebrae.

Stubbly baymen, bonded by indelible
blood but encumbered by obscenely
bulging proboscises, sob sibilant blues
about bayside stabbings. Hummingbirds,
warblers, robins battle swashbuckling
lumberjacks, sabotaging buzzsaws.

Hobbled by balky web browsers, cyborgs
browbeat carbon-based beings: Lambasted,
battered by brickbats, cub webmasters reboot
global cybernetic byways.

Objects resembling burnished Rubik's cubes
orbit beyond battlements; skycabs rumble
above boulevards. Somnambulist skateboarders,
mumbling Brahms' Lullaby, wobble between
marble embankments, beneath starburst nebulae.

 

On the Melting of the Antarctic Ice Shelf

We'll climb down salt-encrusted stairs
when the klaxon clangs all-clear,
see what's flopped up on the stoop today.
We'll make a meal of horseshoe crab
or stranded eel--let's chuck this rancid skate.
We'll peruse pothole tidepools, slog through
silt flats, hurl cockleshells at rusted cabs,
vie for supplies with ragtag gangs,
then scamper home when sirens warn
the ocean's scaled the barricades again.

Tonight we'll jet-ski up Fifth Avenue,
drag-race with those uptown clowns,
slalom the line of relief trucks that failed to run
the tide. We'll trawl the boulevards for tiger shrimp
to punctuate our barbecue, turn home to light
our rooftop fire, help friends to moor their skiffs
at our front door. We'll dance beneath a spate
of stars, rekindled in the death of city lights
then go downstairs to bid our friends goodbye
before another ebb tide strands them dry.

 

Dilapidated Epiphany

Atop windswept, telescope-spangled peaks,
astrophysicists interpret supernova explosions,
            predicting widespread tulipmania
preceding depravity.
Heliotropes co-opt Apollo's photonic splurge.
Saxophones erupt, spouting elliptical arpeggios.
Harpsichords loop spirophonic tapestries
   upon rooftop amphitheaters.

                Upended spatulas
                                 -spin-
                                  disrupting hyperspace.

      Parachutes whisper plutonium's scripture,
imploded temptress's psalm.

Republican politicos implement Operation Gipper:
Presidential replicants wallop
dyspeptic poodles, shar-peis, whippets.
Unimpeachably warped pachyderms spray tapioca
    splattering
       hospital vampires          slurping plasma,
       bicuspid scalpels performing liposuction
     rhinoplasty         lithotripsy
     upon unsuspecting patients.

Alphabeteers practice Oulipian wordplay,
cryptically transposing pronouns,
  catapulting prepositions.
Hyperlinked synapses sprout multiple protuberances:
phalluses                          nipples
                      rumps                          proboscises.

Spielberg dispenses triceratops scallipini,
homespun velociraptor soup.
Wampum-happy cinematographers misrepresent Pocahontas.
Napoleon plays imperator; Pythagoras contemplates
hyperbolas, trapezoids.
Oppenheimer's apocalyptic isotopes erupt.
Copernicus uproots Ptolemy's epicycles, opening
planetary crypts.
Zapata inspires peasant uprisings; plumed serpents
repopulate pyramids.
Springsteen spray-paints Prince's glyph upon
souped-up Plymouths.
Rasputin perseveres, spoonfed narcoleptic pap.

 

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