Hammond Guthrie

 

The Endangered Species Restaurant
2001 Buttes Bluff, Jacksonhole, Wyoming

Appetizers:

"Invertebrate Specialties"

Alamosa Spring Snails
(in a thick agave sauce)

Oahu Tree Snails
(par boiled in extra virgin olive oil)

Cumberland Pig-Toe Mussels

Giant Kangaroo Rat Tails
(served on a lush bed of Palos Verde Blue Butterfly wings)

Pate:

Aleutian Canadian Goose

Salad Bar:

Aged agave, Bakersfield Cactus blossoms, Barneby Reed Mustard leaves, Clay's
Hibiscus, Garret's Mint, and Prairie Bush Clover served on a bed of Eureka
Dune Grass surrounded by Western Prairie Orchids sprinkled with sub-Saharan
sand

Soup:

Great Sea Turtle
In the shell option serves eight

Mammalian Entrées:

Ocelot Flank Steak
Sonoran Pronghorn (redwood smoked)
Baby Kit Fox (oven roasted)
Carolina Northern Flying Squirrel (wings clipped)
Amargosa Vole Sushi
Dugong Loaf (serves two or more)
Jacarundi Broil

Miscellaneous entrails with sea biscuits

Fowl:

Attwater's Greater Prairie Chicken
Brown Pelican Stew (served in beak)
California Condor
Mallard Mariana
Spotted Owl (old growth moss garnish)

(dishes served with complimentary Bald Eagle feathers)

Fish:

Golden Trout
Pallid Sturgeon
Irradiated Coho Salmon
Aged Blue Whale Blubber (in Champagne broth)

Reptile Delights:

Baby New Mexican Rattle Snakes
American Alligator Tails
Road Flattened Musk Tortoise
Sand Skink In A Basket

Desert:

Baked Alaskan Sludge Bars

****

A la carte Multinationalism Menu

Appetizers:

USDA Pig Fetus on Genetically Altered Corn
Cheney Fried Chicken Hearts
Globally Warmed Arctic Oysters (with a dollop of collagen)

Soup:

American Watered Crust Down

Salad:

Greenhouse Aspic (with a depleted ozone dressing)

Entrées:

Bushmaster Fillets (always in season)
Dated ABM2 Flambé
First Strike Bombe
JDS Uniphase Soufflé (with stock options)
WTO Goulash (served with a boilermaker)

(pepper spray and saltpeter condiments provided upon request)

Carafes of iced Yucca Mountain water with a hint of arsenic, copper, and
lead at every table--FDA tested and approved

The Desert Table:

Rogue Isolationist Sorbet
European Uneasy Cake
Dictator's Delight (changes daily)

Wine List:

1/ Genoa Blood Red Chianti, 2001--Fullbodied, curious coagulants, redolent
of teargas and buckshot

2/ Quebec Cabernet Sauvignon, 2001--Furious palette cleanser, olde-world
aura, secretive and cryptic aftertaste

3/ Bohemian Sekt, 2000--A sparkling white, haunting effervescent allure
with traces of burning tires and a barely discernible rumble of paramilitary
operations

4/ Seattle 'Johannesburg' Riesling, 1999--All-satisfying Rhineland
bouquet, excellent with irradiated salmon and poached triple-yolk eggs on a
bed of synthesized lettuce

5/ Sarajevo Modoc Surprise, 1999--A rare blend of Albanian and Montenegran
grapes, handpicked by Croatian virgins, brutally squeezed by Serbian police
officers, unusually sweaty aroma, best served late at night (House Wine)

(C) 2001 - Hammond Guthrie
An Assisted Corpse with Gavin Keeney

 

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